Mr. EcoGeek himself (aka Hank Green) put together this hilarious piece on how to impress (read: seduce) a green girl with your enviro cred. Title: “EcoGeek’s Guide to Getting Girls”! Love it. Being a guy, naturally he wrote a lot about how to get a woman in bed, or at least into a sexy space. (Hey, nothing wrong with seduction, especially if it’s environmentally responsible). What a romantic! Hank, I kid. Since EcoGeek is happily married he’s obviously doing something right.
BUT I couldn’t resist the challenge. As a recently single-again Eco Chick, I have to make my own list. Now, I could have made one about how to seduce a Green Guy, but really, getting most guys into bed, green, purple or ahem, blue, isn’t all that hard, right ladies?
So I’m going to go ahead and ADD to Hank’s list, in which I give away a few of the secrets to getting an Eco Chick to a) notice you, and b) get that first kiss (and maybe more). I’m doing this as a public service to all those treehugging guys who are so busy saving the world they forgot how to flirt, or are maybe just a little shy. Because there’s nothing I like less than seeing nice guys finish last when it comes to snagging dates. Mens, instead of muttering “Girls only like assholes, so I’ll be one” and then going out and behaving like a neanderthal, try these good-guy tactics instead. You’ll help save our gorgeous planet and find someone to keep you warm this winter to boot (so you can turn down the thermostat another couple of degrees!).
And remember, the key to getting any woman is turning on her mind. And what’s on an Eco Chick’s mind? (I mean besides that!!)
Know Your Shit, Or Don’t Be Afraid to Learn
Environmentally oriented women tend to be well-educated (whether through the halls of academia or through seasons of anarchic urban gardening activism, we know our stuff), and smart, conscious women like men who are the same. But don’t fake it; you won’t be able to pretend you’re interested in and love the natural world if you’re not into it, so don’t even try.
If you are just learning to be green, that’s OK, just be open about it. A “teach me” attitude is always appealing to a woman who’s passionate about any subject, from permaculture to carbon trading. If you are an expert in a subject, flaunt it, but not too much. If she’s into a what you’re discussing, a cup of coffee so you can “really get into the details” is a smart, cute way to go (see below for more ideas).
Think creative, think low-impact, think about what she’s into.
-Instead of bringing her flowers, bring her a jar of local honey (um, unless she’s a vegan! If so, organic agave nectar. Nonorganic agave is often not sustainably harvested.)
-Send her postcards made from recycled boxes, even if you both live in the same town. It’s fun to get mail.
-Listen (it costs nothing!! and only produces a little bit of CO2…)
-During a hike, or even just a walk in the park, whip out your iPod and play a song for her that pertains to the spot you’ve chosen to stop, showing her how you appreciate the natural world.
-Make her delicious organic, local or all-natural treats of some kind, and feed them to her.
Expect the Unexpected (and Appreciate It!)
Women who are dedicated to changing the world are probably a bit different from the norm; exactly how different and in what ways varies from woman to woman. Note and compliment the things that set her apart from other women and notice what makes her special. Why does she care so much about the planet/animals/organic agriculture/raw food? What is her ideal vision of the future? How does she envision getting there?
Work Your Green Guyness
If you already have awesome eco-man cred, show it off! She will see you in your element, which is always sexy. Never downplay who you are, it’ll come out eventually anyway…
Activist? Ask her to help you make posters, masks, think up slogans, or help you distribute information for your next action.
Locavore? Take her on an excursion to a little-known farm or local-only eatery.
Vegan? Ask her to help you walk dogs at the animal shelter.
Ecologist/Geologist/Biologist? Show her whatever your specialty is in a fun way. Bring her to a super-unique local ecosystem and show her what’s amazing about it, take her on a visit to a rare or interesting outcropping, or take her to the local nature center and show her your favorite interesting insect exhibit.
Environmental Writer? Give her a copy of the book that inspires you the most, with your favorite sections marked off, or go to a reading by your favorite writer.
Green Designer? Show her what inspires you and your designs, whether it is a natural space, an industrial wasteland or the dancing movements of a microscopic creature.
Politician? Ask for her opinion about a speech, op/ed or campaign points that you are working on.
Outdoor educator? Take her on a personalized adventure rappelling, white-water rafting, mountaineering, backcountry snowboarding, or whatever your specialty is. Pack a meal for the trip and include something small but special that shows you were thinking of her (her own caribeaner, quick-dry towel or an extra pair of socks).
And How To Get Her Into Bed…
If you’ve done a few of the things above, she will most likely be pulling you towards the bedroom, into the sleeping bag, or off the side of the trail for a little all-natural frolic.
What’d I miss ladies?? Add your original ideas (and thoughts of course) in the comments section below!