Mr. EcoGeek himself (aka Hank Green) put together this hilarious piece on how to impress (read: seduce) a green girl with your enviro cred. Title: “EcoGeek’s Guide to Getting Girls”! Love it. Being a guy, naturally he wrote a lot about how to get a woman in bed, or at least into a sexy space. (Hey, nothing wrong with seduction, especially if it’s environmentally responsible). What a romantic! Hank, I kid. Since EcoGeek is happily married he’s obviously doing something right.
BUT I couldn’t resist the challenge. As a recently single-again Eco Chick, I have to make my own list. Now, I could have made one about how to seduce a Green Guy, but really, getting most guys into bed, green, purple or ahem, blue, isn’t all that hard, right ladies?
So I’m going to go ahead and ADD to Hank’s list, in which I give away a few of the secrets to getting an Eco Chick to a) notice you, and b) get that first kiss (and maybe more). I’m doing this as a public service to all those treehugging guys who are so busy saving the world they forgot how to flirt, or are maybe just a little shy. Because there’s nothing I like less than seeing nice guys finish last when it comes to snagging dates. Mens, instead of muttering “Girls only like assholes, so I’ll be one” and then going out and behaving like a neanderthal, try these good-guy tactics instead. You’ll help save our gorgeous planet and find someone to keep you warm this winter to boot (so you can turn down the thermostat another couple of degrees!).
And remember, the key to getting any woman is turning on her mind. And what’s on an Eco Chick’s mind? (I mean besides that!!)
Know Your Shit, Or Don’t Be Afraid to Learn
Environmentally oriented women tend to be well-educated (whether through the halls of academia or through seasons of anarchic urban gardening activism, we know our stuff), and smart, conscious women like men who are the same. But don’t fake it; you won’t be able to pretend you’re interested in and love the natural world if you’re not into it, so don’t even try.
If you are just learning to be green, that’s OK, just be open about it. A “teach me” attitude is always appealing to a woman who’s passionate about any subject, from permaculture to carbon trading. If you are an expert in a subject, flaunt it, but not too much. If she’s into a what you’re discussing, a cup of coffee so you can “really get into the details” is a smart, cute way to go (see below for more ideas).
Be Original
Think creative, think low-impact, think about what she’s into.
-Instead of bringing her flowers, bring her a jar of local honey (um, unless she’s a vegan! If so, organic agave nectar. Nonorganic agave is often not sustainably harvested.)
-Send her postcards made from recycled boxes, even if you both live in the same town. It’s fun to get mail.
-Listen (it costs nothing!! and only produces a little bit of CO2…)
-During a hike, or even just a walk in the park, whip out your iPod and play a song for her that pertains to the spot you’ve chosen to stop, showing her how you appreciate the natural world.
-Make her delicious organic, local or all-natural treats of some kind, and feed them to her.
Expect the Unexpected (and Appreciate It!)
Women who are dedicated to changing the world are probably a bit different from the norm; exactly how different and in what ways varies from woman to woman. Note and compliment the things that set her apart from other women and notice what makes her special. Why does she care so much about the planet/animals/organic agriculture/raw food? What is her ideal vision of the future? How does she envision getting there?
Work Your Green Guyness
If you already have awesome eco-man cred, show it off! She will see you in your element, which is always sexy. Never downplay who you are, it’ll come out eventually anyway…
Activist? Ask her to help you make posters, masks, think up slogans, or help you distribute information for your next action.
Locavore? Take her on an excursion to a little-known farm or local-only eatery.
Vegan? Ask her to help you walk dogs at the animal shelter.
Ecologist/Geologist/Biologist? Show her whatever your specialty is in a fun way. Bring her to a super-unique local ecosystem and show her what’s amazing about it, take her on a visit to a rare or interesting outcropping, or take her to the local nature center and show her your favorite interesting insect exhibit.
Environmental Writer? Give her a copy of the book that inspires you the most, with your favorite sections marked off, or go to a reading by your favorite writer.
Green Designer? Show her what inspires you and your designs, whether it is a natural space, an industrial wasteland or the dancing movements of a microscopic creature.
Politician? Ask for her opinion about a speech, op/ed or campaign points that you are working on.
Outdoor educator? Take her on a personalized adventure rappelling, white-water rafting, mountaineering, backcountry snowboarding, or whatever your specialty is. Pack a meal for the trip and include something small but special that shows you were thinking of her (her own caribeaner, quick-dry towel or an extra pair of socks).
And How To Get Her Into Bed…
If you’ve done a few of the things above, she will most likely be pulling you towards the bedroom, into the sleeping bag, or off the side of the trail for a little all-natural frolic.
What’d I miss ladies?? Add your original ideas (and thoughts of course) in the comments section below!
Great advice! To all you skeptics out there, I can assure you it works!
10/11/07 » 10:24 pm »
EcoLinking - 12 October 2007 at EcoStreet - Raising Green Consciousness since 2002
[...] How to Score at Eco Chick by Eco-Chick [...]
10/12/07 » 4:06 am »
Know your shite? There are lots of stats and story links and links to greening your life at my Envirostats site to help you, http://envirostats.info
But I gently caution, too many numbers will turn off any girl. Know her numerical limits and don’t go on at length about it.
Stick to the old fashioned stuff to be safe. Poems and serenades still go far, though make sure you use eco-paper and guitar.
10/12/07 » 6:24 am »
Poems and seranades???? maybe if you’re a poet or musician, otherwise, don’t embarass yourself….being cheesy (not to mention cliche, cliche!!) is a total turnoff unless that is one of your talents in life that you’d like to share. I’ve gotten more bad poetry in my time, and it just makes me cringe inside!
10/12/07 » 7:53 am »
LOL! I’ve found just looking good has been enough to “score” eco-chicks. As long as you’re not obviously anti-green they respond like any other female.
10/12/07 » 8:32 am »
If you’re going to make statments like that Jonolan, you need to have a picture up on your site!
10/12/07 » 11:04 am »
Starre,
LOL @ Starre! I’ll think out it.
10/12/07 » 11:15 am »
In my experience, unfortunately even eco-chicks look at guy’s looks a lot more than their personality.
Also, unfortunately for me, having an economic background can be a bad thing since nowadays anything to do with money or economic policy gets automatically associated with capitalism and greed. The biggest things I’ve seen girls flock to is guys who like to “play in the dirt” – that is to say are interested in farming, or agriculture, or super natury things. Guys who are interested in sustainable policy or economics, unless they’re “hot”, don’t get much attention..
that is just my experience. I am the only guy in many of my sustainability orgs and am sorrounded by many, many, gorgeous and smart women.
(I also can’t date them because I work with them)
10/12/07 » 4:26 pm »
How 2 score a Green Chick….haha…Just say HELLO and smile…
10/15/07 » 7:12 am »
I know! Have her over for coffee and “accidentally” leave your linen closet door open for her to see into. Position unbleached paper towels, organic toxic free bedding, and environmentally friendly cleaning products on the shelves. She’ll see that you truly walk the walk and don’t just talk the talk!
10/15/07 » 4:15 pm »
Claire…I dunno, I have a lot of random guys in NYC smile and say hello or what’s up…maybe because I’m in Manhattan most of it is a little sketchy, rather than flattering and I certainly don’t take it seriously. In most urban areas any woman who can see straight is greeted and smiled at a lot, so I think that it’s not as simple as that…
Anna- good idea! You’re quite crafty there!
10/15/07 » 6:43 pm »
Could we define “score” please? Are we talking a “hook up” or a relationship? What is needful for achieving each are different.
10/16/07 » 8:56 am »
How to score? Show her how resourceful you can be. Bring her a ‘renewed’ yard-sale gift rather than buying new. Make dinner at home creatively using items in your own pantry/refrigerator rather than getting carry out in styrofoam packaging. Show her you’re prepared to work (in everyday life, not just in the dirt) to be green.
10/16/07 » 1:34 pm »
What constitutes a “Green Chic”?
10/17/07 » 12:24 am »
Jonolan- as I wrote in the text, this would be a way to get in the door with an eco chick, get a date and maybe that first kiss. Anything more is up to you!
Vlad-An eco chick could be any girl that’s into sustainable living, environmental activism, vegetarianism or veganism, green design, off-the-grid living, recycling, ecofashion, etc. etc. Could be into some of the above or all of them. A woman who cares about the future of the Earth and humanity, and doesn’t just say she ‘likes kids’ or wants to ‘help people’ but actually does something about making the planet a place where everyone can exist heathfully and well.
10/17/07 » 1:03 pm »
Really cute blog post!!!
10/18/07 » 9:20 am »
Like attracts like… Like also repels like… just like magnets… they can either spoon like suction cups or send each other flying across the room… yet they’re made of the same stuff.
10/19/07 » 2:57 pm »
It’s a lot easier then that.
1. Wave around a bag of weed
2. Don’t make any comments about their weight.
3. Talk about how much you like kids.
Bingo
10/20/07 » 10:39 am »
ScribeMedia.Org » Verdant Nepotism **DAPS**
[...] how we roll in the verdant blogosphere. After all fellas (…and ladies), she’s only trying to help [...]
10/29/07 » 1:57 pm »